Skip to main content

THREE MAGIC WORDS

 "I Love you"! I know this is one of the probable set of words that came to your mind when you saw the caption "Three Magic Words". I am sorry to deflate your bubble of guessing. There is another set of three magic words that are very useful not only in life but in ensuring the practicality of I love you as well. Enjoy the ride.

We had planned the day a month earlier, preparations have reached near completion but for the D-day, we embarked on the journey and we arrived at our destination after an hour's drive. She's one of the women whom I called mother and has proved it again and again (even though we play a lot). She had made me inquire about a hotel where she can lodge for the night before the wedding day - sadly the three top priority hotels were all occupied (thanks to my oversight). Fortunately, we got a room in another guest house though after I had received series of "You no try for me" looks. The day ended fairly well.



It was the wedding of a lady who called me "Daddy", and that automatically made her the Granny who equalled as the cake designer and the brain behind the bride's gown. We were to set out for the village of the wedding by 6:30 for roughly  25 minutes drive, but that's where the issue started - due to a break in communication; yours faithfully arrived behind schedule. (Why? We failed to agree the previous day as to whether I was to go meet her or she's to pick me up, and I called but trust MTN, they made the issue worse).


Was there scolding? Yes. Was there me trying to defend and explain the situation? Of course, was there a moment of silence? Well after we took off. Few minutes into the drive, she broke the silence and said to me: "If you desire to live peacefully in marriage and even in life, you must learn to say 'I am sorry truly', and avoid defending or explaining away things". That was the moment I knew that I hadn't known a thing about saying sorry and that I had to unlearn and relearn the practical meaning of saying sorry. Summarily, I ended up receiving a long sermon on saying sorry even for things you haven't committed; well, I finally tell her I am deeply sorry. 


I am sorry, this is not a relationship piece, but I want to draw a handful of lessons that can and will guide us, as we daily relate with friends, family and even foes if need be. So let us talk about saying "I am sorry". 


When do we apologise? When do we demand an apology? When do we say sorry? What's the cost of saying sorry? What's the benefit of saying 'I am sorry'? Who benefits most after an apology is given or received? Think about these questions as you read the rest of the piece.


I spent the last three years of my life mostly on the street, running errands, ensuring that I keep spirit, soul and body together. I always think I am patient until the rubber hit the road. Working with my former boss exposed me to practical patient. I learned to say sorry, for the things I did wrong and even for the ones I knew nothing about. At first, it was hard and bruising to my 'I didn't do anything wrong to apologise ego', however, as time goes on, it became part of me, and for the sake of peace, I always apologise first.


You see when you learn to say sorry, you always win in the long run regardless of the situation at hand. I know you may be staring at your screen as you read this piece and say "What? Apologise for what I didn't do? No, I can't just do that". True, rationally, it is only fair that you demand an apology when being wronged, but reasonably, it is far better to say sorry even when you are the person being wronged for peace' sake (peace is far more priceless than our egos put together). 



When you say I am sorry, you show how strong you are, when you say sorry, it means you are ready to learn. When you apologise, it proves you know that you don't know it all, and when you say I am sorry, you display that you would rather prefer peace than massaging your ego. I have learned that anytime I say I am sorry, it makes me stronger, it chisels my rough edges, opens me up to learn new things and smoothens me to say sorry with more ease next time. There is no time that we show how human we are than when we acknowledge and apologise for our wrongs. The world needs more people who know how to say sorry than being sorry after the damage caused by ego.


"I am sorry" are three magic words that can melt the hardest of hearts, quench the fiercest furnace, calm the most ragging storm and breathe life into what would have been a deadly situation. Wherever and whenever you see a conflicting situation escalating, there is a high tendency that either or neither of the parties involved hasn't come to say 'I am sorry, forgive me yet. Most of our relational crisis is rooted in our inability to apologise, the more we learn the art and act of saying sorry, the better and peaceful our relationships become.


Bitterness, anger, rage, malice, and their likes can be cured by a genuine apology. It is one thing to know you are wrong, it is another to admit and say you are wrong. It is one thing to see the potentiality of crisis escalation in a situation, and it is another to apologise even if you have not done wrong to prevent the time bomb from going off. Again, peace is far more priceless than all our egos put together, saying sorry don't cost a thing.


What is your attitude towards apology? Is saying 'I am sorry' alien to you? Have you let go of relationships that would have shaped your life meaningfully because you do not know how to say 'I am sorry? How will your attitude be like regarding this issue from now henceforth? Know these three magic words, master them, and carry them wherever you go. Saying 'I am sorry" doesn't cost a thing, but it can change everything. 


Thank you for reading

Be free to leave your comments



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

FIRST THING FIRST

  Our Default Setting  So I have a friend who has this significant order he looks up to a lot. He has made it in life as an international professor based in the United State and has all the right connections (if you get what I mean). My friend had this deeply ingrained mindset back then in school that once he is done with undergraduate studies, getting employed will not be an issue for him. Five years down the line, he is still pulling and pushing through life to make both ends meet. What happened to the hope he had of being helped by his significant order? Quashed. I know you can relate to this story, you might have heard similar experiences with people you look up to fail you, disappoint you, and let you down. Nigerians believe that the easiest way to get disappointed and useless in life is to look up to your uncle. (How true is this? you judge for yourself). Such is life as we see it. At the end of the day, your help and lifting may or may not come through such people that ...
2 comments
Read more

DON'T JUST LOSE IT

So I failed to send out the publicity for what I am to write on and share with you yesterday; partly because I have been dragging with my health lately and the fact that writer's block came visiting. Just like trust, consistency is one thing that once established, you don't just lose it. Building consistency is like earning trust, it takes time but can or may be lost in a blink of an eye. So I thought about this yesterday, knowing that someone out there may be waiting on me to send something out today, and here I am, about to make the waiting go down the drain. Well, I had to write something. In life, we exert our efforts, direct our attention and channel our determination to achieve or get some things through persistence, only to let them slip past our fingers because we lack the keeping power of consistency. What I mean is, persistence gets it, consistency keeps it; so by all means, in your persistence, be consistent.  In describing what consistency is not, Hundred Life Desig...
1 comment
Read more

SELF-HATRED

What I will share today is very confrontational, it will look at us in the face, determined to bring about transformation in us. I urge you not to leave the piece halfway or read through with a predetermined stubbornness, who knows, it just may save/change your life. This may not cover everything on the topic under discourse, but hopefully, I pray that this challenge you wherever you are found wanting.  I  want us to act a simple play on the stage of our imaginations, all of us are major characters in this play, please actively engage your thinking faculty and get the best out of it. So here we go. For the last three months, you have been wanting to do something, you had planned for it, written it down, you have even informed your close friends about what you want to do, but once you are face to face with it, the rubber is about to hit the road, you will tell yourself to relax, you still have time, and you can always do it later or next time. Then you intentionally put it off...
2 comments
Read more