THE DOWNSIDE OF TOLERANCE

 

One of the watersheds of my undergraduate experience was the hostel life, where you meet and stay with different kind of people coming from different places holding different perspectives about how life is or should be; it was a combination of the good the bad and the ugly. If you have been in the hostel before you can relate with this illustration and agree that to live peacefully in the hostel you need high sense of tolerance, if not you will constantly be provoked. 

My hostel experience is still fresh on my mind because I loved school and still do, and as of that time, I was comfortable in school than my father’s house. I can remember a single semester that I bought like six bathroom slippers; this sound weird and strange right? Well that is what you get for being nice and when you tolerate a lot.  What happened was that most often, once I removed my slippers  at the door, before I come out again, someone has eloped with it never to return as a man would with a woman he loves. 

In those days, slippers was just  #120, hence I wouldn’t want to go through the stress of fighting someone over a slippers when I can sacrifice such small amount and get another one so that peace will reign; by the way they knew me as that “nice  brother” who wouldn’t cause a fuss over just a bathroom slippers. However, the question is how long will I put up with such? How long will I tolerate that? After the experience of that semester, I had to change tactics less I become an informal retailer of slippers in my hostel block, 

The Encarta Dictionaries defined tolerance as the acceptance of the differing views of other people, and fairness toward the people who hold these different views. It also added that tolerance is the act of putting up with somebody or something irritating or otherwise unpleasant; and the ability to put up with hardship or difficult situation. Inferring from these definitions, it is obvious we really need tolerance to fare well in life. Just like we need patience so is tolerance needful to live life less everyday becomes a war of attempting to have our own way regardless of who we hurt in the process. 

As important as tolerance is in life, when does tolerance become down-sided? Are all things tolerable? Are all the things you tolerate beneficial? From my hostel experience and my entire experience so far in life, I have come to understand that many times when we put up with some things, people or even practices, it wasn’t tolerance that we were practicing but the downside of it. And once the downside of tolerance takes the place of actual tolerance, so many abnormalities have a fill day in our lives and society. Permit me to practically explore some applicable areas of our lives where we celebrate the downside of tolerance. 

What You See

The eyes they say are the windows to the mind or the soul, hence whatever you feed your eyes with goes directly to your inner being, and one picture is worth thousand words. There are so many seeming innocent yet harmful contents that we often tolerate and let our eyes feed on without considering the long term effects they have on us. Most of these stuffs if not all  that we tolerate are images or motion pictures and we get our eyes addicted to them so much that they become part of our lives. When it comes to tolerating the things you see, is your tolerance down-sided?  

What You Say

Words are potent weapons we have in the armoury of our lives, once released cannot be retrieved again. Our words can build or pull down, careless words can even ruin a life. When was the last time you said a word to someone and afterwards you felt as if you shouldn’t have? Or rather, when was the last time someone said something to you and you felt as if a dagger has been thrust through your heart? (We will talk about words other time). There are so many kind and manners of words that we have tolerated hitherto either by taking them in or uttering them to others that have become down-sided. Let me ask you again, have you come to tolerate some words and added them to your collection of vocabularies that you shouldn’t have?  Don’t forget that words are powerful. 

Relationships 

You cannot be with everyone and be something or someone in life. Your journey in life is not tied to everyone you come across in life, some are meant to stay, some for a season and others to just teach you one or two lessons and move on. Personally, I can recall some needless relationships I have tolerated that I can say are down-sided. Could it be that most of the relationships that are weighing us down from moving towards our life’s goals are wrongly tolerated and accommodated? 

As a People 

Sometimes last week I came across a post on Facebook that was funny but rather pathetic, the post said: “We are your Nigeria, mismanage us”. As casual as that statement is, it simply portrayed the illegalities and abnormalities we have tolerated that ought not to be. Sadly but true, the downsides of tolerance can be seen in almost every organized endeavour of our systems in Nigeria. I know as you read these words, you are relating to so many things we have tolerated as people that have affected us, and if we are to keep on, the next generation will only celebrate our many errors.

What Next 

This piece is not all encompassing or exhaustive of all the issues relating to the downsides of tolerance, but it is meant to be a pointer to our reality and to awaken us to tolerate appropriately. In order not to keep buying slippers beyond the one I had already, I had to start taking them inside and speak out my mind in our compound meetings by urging everyone to take responsibility starting from small things as buying bathroom slippers. In tolerating people, it is good we weigh the things we tolerate, are they things that one can change or influence the other person to change less they become wrong habits? Or are they things we could just turn blind eye to so peace can prevail? Life needs tolerance but the downside of tolerance is naivety. 

The things you tolerate you permit, the things you permit persist and the things you let persist becomes habits and habits eventually determines the direction of your life. Be a man or woman of tolerance, you sure need it in life, but then don’t let your tolerance become down-sided. 

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