The Great Seducers

I begin this piece with an excerpt from Martin Meadow's "365 Days with Self Discipline", day 98.

It’s not society that holds us back, it’s ourselves. We just blame society because not only is it easier but it’s a nearly impossible weight to move. This way, we don’t have to change.

—Neil Strauss 

It’s easy to use society as a crutch. “I can’t lose weight because there are billboards of fast-food restaurants everywhere, and besides, I just got a free coupon for a burger.” “I can’t become more productive because my colleagues laugh at me for making an effort, and besides, my boss won’t appreciate it anyway.” “I can’t stay faithful to my significant other because dating apps make it so easy to meet sexy people.”

Is it the billboard, your colleagues, or dating apps that control your life? If so, is that really how you’d like to live — at the whim of advertisers, other people, or new technologies? Every time you claim that it’s the surroundings that hold you back, ask yourself if it’s really your environment or perhaps it’s just an easy excuse for you to not act. And if you still think it’s your surroundings — because that might be the case — then change them.

Nobody forces you to hang out with the same people, install a dating app, or drive by your favourite fast-food joints. If your long- term goals are important to you, you can always consider moving to a place that will be more conducive to your personal growth.

The picture painter above captured us all in one way or the other. Isn't it amazing but yet disturbing how it is always easy to make excuses, defend ourselves and explain away things than taking responsibility and initiative? 

IQ Matrix defined excuses as rationalizations we make to ourselves about people, events, and circumstances. They are invented reasons we create to defend our behaviour, to postpone taking action or simply as a means of neglecting responsibility. Excuses are mainly a means of placing the blame of an internal problem on an external condition.

Making excuses comes with instant gratifications for our ego, but long term effects on our life's goals and potential. Excuses make us better at all the wrong things and unfit for all the right things. It was Benjamin Franklin who said, "He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else". Are you a chief excuse maker?

People make excuses for different reasons; some of these reasons may be rational, but I doubt if they are justifiable and reasonable enough to stand. These reasons can be capped under one word - FEAR. We make excuses for fear of failure, mistakes, embarrassment, responsibility, rejection, change, lack of confidence and many others. Regardless, excuses are the most impotent way of addressing fear-related issues like these and any other issue in life.

You see, excuses are seducers. They lure us from accepting responsibility, entice us from the duties and tasks we are supposed to get done and beguiled us that our potential is not good enough. For every time you fall to their whim and caprice, you shortchanged yourself from learning, growing and becoming a better version of yourself. Making excuses is a total waste of time and potential.

If you will live this life to the fullest and derive value and add value to lives, you must not be at the mercy of excuses. True, making excuses come cheap, but their aftermath and subsequent effects on life are costly and far-reaching. Not only will excuses limit you from reaching your full potential, but they will deny you from recognizing opportunities, building on your strengths and learning the skills you need to live life and solve life's issues. Succinctly, excuses seduce you to living a lower and lesser version of yourself. 

Can you honestly ask yourself this soul searching questions?: where do excuses lead me? What do I gain for making excuses? Will I become the person I desire to be while falling to excuses daily? Where and who will I be in 10 years from now living with excuses today? Are my excuses truly justifiable and beneficial? Anytime I make an excuse do I become a better person or not? I can go on with the questions but I know you have grasped the message already.

Be determined today to get past the life shrewd in excuses to taking responsibility and initiative. Begin the life of accepting your flaws and flowing to a better life of learning and growing. Great men never excuse a thing, they are responsible and accountable for every decision and indecision. 

Start today. Whenever an opportunity to make excuses come up, chose to accept the fall and take responsibility, at least you won't die, and what does not kill you will make you stronger. Daily victory over the life of excuses will accumulate to a responsible and productive life in due time.

Thank you for reading

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