IN YOUR OWN SKIN

 

Two weeks ago I was having a conversation with this lady with whom we have been discussing life with lately, and she said to me: “Sir, I have something that is really eating me deep inside and I will need help with it; people have been making fun of me because of my body structure, I have been working hard to add some flesh but it is not working, I hate being called smally”. 

To be comfortable in your own skin is to be you and do you, it is your ability to accept yourself, love yourself and embrace yourself. To be comfortable in your own skin is to have confidence in your abilities whether small or big, crude or refined and to also shamelessly admit your flaws, flops and flounders in the light of growth and positive change. To be comfortable in your own skin is the key to unlocking the real you and all the potentials therein. 

Being comfortable in your own skin is one of the easiest and surest ways of making the best out of life, this is because it gives you the license to be you and do you regardless. Your inability to be comfortable in your own skin makes life a whole new struggle, this is because daily you live a life of needless striving, constantly putting efforts to measure up where you are not meant to be and to catch up what is not meant to be caught. 

Responding to the lady in my opening paragraph, I told her that we all are masterpieces, and by this I meant we all have our uniqueness, differences; and these uniqueness which could be physically or otherwise are the things that make us special, they are the things that differentiate us, identify us and stand us out. I added that the fact that people call her smally or all sort of names is just their own opinion of who they think she is but not actually who she really is. So at this point in time, it is either she works with people’s opinion of who they think she is or she works with the reality of who she really is – a masterpiece. Hence the onus lies on her ability to draw a dividing line between people’s opinion or who they think she is and who she really is. 

I am different, and you are different too, but we are all special; you cannot be me and I cannot be you, but we are equally important. Our efficacy in life largely depends on the functional definition and acceptance of who we are, far beyond what people think we are, far above what society want us to be and exceeding what systems expect us to look like. You see, any time we try to live otherwise, we reduce ourselves to mere copycats, to counterfeits and anything less than our best. 

 If there is anything robbing people of living a satisfying and fulfilled life in the 21st century is the reality of not being comfortable in their own skin. If not why the comparisons here and there? Why the competition every now and then? What about the several needless surgeries to reduce or add to one’s body part in order to enhance his or her physical outlook? Scan through our society and you will see so many abnormalities that are fast becoming norms because so many people are not comfortable in their own skin. 

Am I advocating for complacency with yourself by saying you have to be comfortable in your own skin? Definitely no. I am not campaigning for arrogance, pride or even narcissism, neither am I excusing your failure in meeting up responsibilities. What I am simply saying is you can never be a  better person, improve or change if you have no love for yourself, confidence in your abilities, admittance for your flaws and acknowledgment that you need to constantly grow.

One may now ask, how then can I be comfortable in my own skin? The answer to this is by simply integrating your self-image, self-worth and self-esteem – these three make up your personality. Your Self-image is the picture of yourself that you have in your mind’s eye or how you see yourself in the mirror of your heart. Self-worth is the value, importance or price you have of yourself and Self-esteemed is how estimable you think you are to others, it is how relevant and useful you quantify yourself to others. Your ability to settle these three deep inside is directly proportionate to you being comfortable in your own skin.  

Figuratively now, what is that part of your skin that you are not comfortable in? Do you stammer like I do sometimes? Do you find it hard to love yourself? Do you find yourself comparing yourself all day long with another? Or is yours body shaming like the lady in my opening story? Do not forget that it is one thing for you to be you for the sake of others (creating an impression) and it is another thing to be you for the sake of you (being you and accepting yourself). It is sad how people often lose themselves trying hard to impress others at the expense of being comfortable in their own skin. 

YOLO! – You Only Live Once. One thing I always remind myself lately is the truth that life is short hence I have to live it well by making every moment count. In wrapping up my conversation with that lady, I reminded her again that she is a masterpiece, beautifully crafted, custom made and a limited edition lady. Therefore she need to learn to accept herself for who she is and not live her life by people’s opinion or judgment, because in the light of growth and daily improvement, she is just perfect. Again, anyone who will not accept her for who she is while helping her to grow and be a better person do not deserve to be in her life. 

If you are reading this piece right now, love yourself, have confidence in your abilities, admit your flaws and be deliberate about growing, what I meant is just be comfortable in your own skin and all those that are designed to be part of your journey in life will come along and accept you for who you are without forcing you out of your skin.

Be you and do you, stay in your lane and slay in your lane, be comfortable in your own skin and serve your generation what is underneath your skin. 

I hope you learned something

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